Does this sound familiar? It's the end of the weekend, and you still haven't ticked a single box on your to-do list, which feels as long as your infinite-scroll Instagram feed. Anybody who's ever tackled life admin has felt this feeling at some point: "There's too much to do. It's mine to do. And… Maybe I'll just do it later."

But why do we struggle through life admin feeling like we’re the only ones? Sure, there are practical reasons why life admin sometimes requires privacy, but many people also report life admin to be isolating and a major burden. According to research of 70 households interviewed by Alison Daminger, a leading sociologist focused on cognitive labor, even married couples often do life admin in relative isolation (and quite unhappily)—mostly by one person taking on the bulk of the work. So, whether we’re single or in a relationship, Americans are feeling relatively lonely doing life admin.

Here are few examples of people's feelings about life admin gathered from my recent interviews:

• A single woman in her 30s had been experiencing major stress due to credit card debt that she had accumulated relatively rapidly, even while working a well-paid job. She felt shame, which led her to keep her stress of paying off the debt even more private.
• A woman in her 50s found herself managing her mother's medical care while also managing a full-time job and her household with two children. The burden was overwhelming, and without a partner or siblings, she found herself struggling to keep up with all of the logistics.
• A man in his late 20s hates the various forms of life admin in his life. He was in graduate school for most of his 20s, and while the institutional nature of his work helped him guide him through that period, it's been a bigger adjustment figuring out how to manage everything in his first job living on his own in a new location.

If you want to replace the solo struggle of life admin with something that works better and feels more motivating, here's what we're finding works:

1. Do some life admin with friends, even if you keep your tasks private

While there will always be private aspects of life admin work, there's growing evidence that working on life admin alongside others can be hugely beneficial – both by keeping you accountable and by reducing the feelings of isolation. A 2021 NIH study found that being alone doesn’t lead to feeling lonely, but doing activities alone is correlated with higher feelings of loneliness. And loneliness doesn’t help get tasks done. Think about it: how many times have you put off a task, only to breeze through it when you're sitting next to a colleague or friend doing their own work?

The idea of a “life admin friend date” might just be one of the keys to productivity in this space. While there are many admin tasks that you’re likely to do in between other parts of life, we suggest tackling the bigger stuff—things like filling out an application, doing your taxes, rolling over an old 401(k)—by scheduling time with a trusted friend or partner. It's not important that you do tasks together; the key word is to work alongside each other, like a study hall session.

What’s going to make this possible is opening up to friends and family about the life admin you face and how you feel about it. That way, you’re more likely to identify somebody who makes for a good work partner.

2. Treat yourself to new scenary (and something yummy too)

If you view life admin as unpaid work, then why should it always happen within your four walls? Put yourself in a new physical space around different people. Next time you need to tackle a big admin task, head to a local coffee shop or a public library. Not only can the ambient noise and fresh surroundings be a boost for powering through paperwork, going to a space outside the home can help you mentally register this work as just that — work.

Also, try compensating yourself just a bit. The great thing about a coffee shop is that 

3. Identify your life admin sweet spots (and pain points) to gain momentum

When you're used to thinking about life admin on your own, it's easy to get trapped in your way of thinking about different tasks at hand. Here, I'm encouraging you to step back and look at life admin at large. What are the areas that you dislike the least? What are the areas that you even enjoy a bit? By identifying what you enjoy about life admin, then it helps separate the way you approach different kinds of work.

The stuff you really aren't motivated by? That's the work you may want to consider an accountability partner for.

As a starting place, use Wayshaping's categorization of life admin:

• Big-picture decision-making
• Household management
• Healthcare
• Personal finance
• Career / Education planning

Start by rank ordering them. Then, you can even drill down into the different parts of each category.

For the categories at the bottom of your list—the pain points—try writing down why you avoid them. Do they bore you? Do you feel unconfident or under-informed? Do they annoy you, so you procrastinate? Whatever it is, try writing it down.

4. Find the right kind of life admin ally.

...archetype of a life admin ally is a person who acts as a sounding board; somebody similarly open to improving how they do life admin

Now, let's dive into the central idea of this explainer: moving your life admin into a part of your life shared with others. If you're a un-partnered adult who doesn't already talk about life admin with your friends, the idea of opening up about life admin or working on it alongside a friend might feel very intimidating.

The key is really to find somebody in your social circle who compliments your needs. Are you looking for somebody who's like you? Are you looking for somebody who comes with strengths you don't have?

While there's always a spectrum, I've found the burden of life admin tends to create some polarity. Many, many people report having that "one friend" who knows their stuff — whether it's a friend who's a finance geek, a wellness guru, or a super-organized neat-freak. You may be looking for somebody like that—somebody who can likely offer opinions and even show you how they do certain tasks.

Another archetype of a life admin ally is a person who acts as a sounding board; somebody similarly open to improving how they do life admin, but not likely to bring a lot of knowledge or casual advice to key tasks.

You may even find that you like to do different kinds of life admin with different types of people. It’s also totally possible you feel like there’s nobody around who you’d feel comfortable doing life admin with. That’s one of the main reasons for Wayshaping: you could always use a 1:1 session instead, which are designed to give you the flexibility to achieve key goals or just book time to get something done.

5. Build Practices that Save You Time Over and Over Again

One of the things I try to emphasize in all of Wayshaping is that we're not trying to escape life admin—that's impossible. We're trying to reduce the toll it takes on our time and energy. As you figure out what works for you, it may be helpful to acknowledge that, for almost everybody, saving time on life admin probably starts with putting in a little bit more time upfront.

If you're single and handling your life admin solo, this could mean putting in some time upfront with an accountability partner to get organized and set yourself up with a set of practices that then you can repeat again and again. It could also mean spending working solo, but with a focused agenda.

That being said, I've gathered several examples of foundational activities that apply so universally, that often save people lots of time later:

• Creating your personal form of a dedicated life admin hour: You don't need to dedicate a lot of time to life admin, but squaring a way a little bit is necessary because bigger efforts require focus and attention. This looks different to different people, usually once a month or once per quarter.
• Building a maintainable list of accounts and profiles: Life admin in the 21st century is equivalent to dealing with a ton of virtual profiles, each of which contains a myriad of information about you. Building a maintainable list of your profiles that you habitually add takes time upfront, but it ends up saving you lots of time. One of the most effective ways to do this is via a password manager.
• Solidifying a sustainable to-do list approach: You've probably made a to-do list before, but one of the big mistakes people make is making lots of to-do lists in many different places, which then renders each of them partially useless (even if it was probably somewhat mentally helpful to write them down). Add a little permanence to your to-do lists. That can be a dedicated notebook, a to-do list app, like Google Tasks or Apple Reminders, or even just a digital note/doc that you keep coming back to.
• Write down what financial advice you rely on: We all rely on some kind of financial advice or wisdom. Some of it we've learned from others; some we've picked up along the way, maybe via social media or on television. You might have been lucky enough to learn from somebody actually licensed to give financial advice. But try this on: Write down who or what are the biggest 3 influences on your financial decisions, from where you bank to how you save, to how you do your taxes. Identifying the advice you rely on today can help you begin to unpack your money stuff all together.

These are just a few examples of practices that pay dividends later. In my experience, having an ally to go over my life admin with really helps enforce them, though. Take your to-do list for example. You could set up a better to-do list approach one Saturday, and by the next, you've could still have completely blown it up, when it just you. A friend being there keeps you honest and on track.

Remember, the goal isn't to become an admin superhero. It's about gradually building a way of operating that works for you—a way that leverages your strengths and the accountability that naturally comes from engaging with other people. Start small – maybe by tackling just one of these suggestions – and see how it changes your approach to life admin.

That's exactly why, when it comes to Wayshaping 1:1 sessions, I focus on task-focused goal packs — we try to solve one thing at a time. No need to attack everything all at once.

My hope is that you find yourself a way of tackling life admin that isn't isolating and paralyzing, but is instead, might I say, a little fun. And if that's a stretch, then I hope you begin to dread it less.